Monday, January 20, 2014

Mischievous Monday or How My Dog Kills Toys

  We’ve all been there; standing in the pet store faced with hundreds of adorable fuzzy dog toys. Oh, they
Photo courtesy of Animal Space.net
via Pinterest
are all so sweet and you just know that your best friend would be thrilled to have a great new toy. Flipping the price tag over, you think $7.99 isn’t too much to ask. It’s going to be such fun watching as your pet loves and snuggles with the little stuffed duck, pig, or teddy bear. Oh, you think with visions of utter canine joy in your imagination, all of the great photo ops you’ll have of your fur baby holding their new toy between their paws or asleep with it tucked serenely at their side. That settles it, money well spent. You ignore that nagging thought in the back of your mind saying, “You know the little toy is not going to last long enough for you to snap a quick pose.” No, this time it will be different. The voice grows louder, “This is the same dog that destroyed a new bed in less time than it takes Mario Andretti to make a trip around the racetrack.” You ignore the prissy little know-it-all again. What a Negative Nellie that voice can be at times, not to mention that was an entire year ago. Careful inspection of the toy reveals tough seams and no glued parts that might cause a problem. You head toward the checkout line with visions of pure puppy bliss dancing innocently in your head.

 
Kong Ball is intact.  Burger was eaten
and duck is plucked.
 Of course, before you get all of the way to the front of the store, you have to pass the dreaded “Bargain Basket” of squeaky toys. What… it’s only $1.00 for a brand new basketball or giraffe with a squeaker? Now, a savvy pet owner simply can’t pass up that deal. You grab one of each to give them a test squeeze. Well sure, they feel thin-skinned but still it’s only one tiny dollar. That Negative Nellie voice in your head is now screaming, “They are going to eat the ears off the giraffe and chew holes in the ball.” This time it’s going to be different. All you need to do is explain to your pup that they need to be gentle with their new toys. What kind of mom would you be if you didn’t take advantage of the dollar bin? The voice sighs, resigned that it will be able to say, “I told you so.” just a few minutes after you get home. Grabbing a couple of chew bones to be on the safe side, you once again head to the checkout line. This time you make it out of the store with your bag full of fun and a satisfied grin on your face. “Negative Nellie” is going to feel so foolish when your dog loves the toys and handles them each with gentle paws.
   As always, your wonderful dog greets you with its tail thumping and acting as if you’ve just returned from saving the world. Taking out the new toys with pride, you bestow the gifts on your faithful friend. Grabbing the stuffed toy in their mouth, they chase after the new ball. It is utter bliss, happy dog, and happy mom. No doubt about it, you are the best pet mom in the universe! The grateful pup trots to its bed with the new goodies and gets comfortable. Satisfied you made the right choices, you go about the business of your day.     On a trip past the doggie bed, you see puffs of white cotton stuffing strewn around your little angel. Seriously? Nellie clears her throat ready to start gloating. You pick up what is left of the duck. Yep, it’s hopelessly gutted, a wing is torn off, and it appears to have run into Freddy Kruger while you straightened the kitchen. “No, no, you have to be sweet to your new toys,” you plead walking to the garbage with the duck hidden under your shirt. You don’t want the dog to see you actually throw the new toy away. They won’t understand and the last thing that you want to do is cause emotional damage.
  Okay fine, no duck but they still have the new squeaky toys so Nellie just needs to go sit down and hush
Let's call these Exhibits A & B
with the “I knew it wouldn’t last an hour. $7.99 for a thirty minute chew-fest…” Not to be defeated, you grab the new ball and toss it across the room. A mad scramble ensues and you play chase before reminding the furry love of your life to be easy with the new toys. Satisfied the message was received, you go about the rest of your day. That is until you hear a slight choking sound coming from the direction of your dog. Rushing into the room, you discover that the ball’s squeaker is missing along with a chunk of the adorable giraffe’s face. You grab your little one and check his mouth for telltale signs of cheap rubber. Great, they’ve attempted to eat the new toy. Trying not to panic, you lift the choking dog in your arms rubbing its throat as you take him to drink some water. He refuses the water due to the fact that he is too busy gagging on squeaky giraffe tartare. As a last resort, you do the Heimlich maneuver in an attempt expel the object. A couple of stomach pumps later and the pink ear of the offending toy shoots out of the guilty dog’s mouth. Sighing, you grab the shredded pieces of toys and once again take the walk of shame to the garbage. “Oh good job, Pet Mom of the Year! That’s two ruined squeaky toys, one dead duck, and look at the time! Almost two hours of fun and a near death experience. I hate to say I told you so but….” It’s a toss-up at who you are angrier with, Negative Nellie or yourself. Trying to make the best of the situation, you reason that the money you spent was only a little more than the mocha Frappuccino that you passed on buying. Besides, you still have the chew bone and that is something your dog can eat! It’s not cute and snuggly but at least it is edible. You toss the bone on the floor, much to the delight of the innocent looking duck/ball/giraffe murderer.
  That settles it, no more plush toys…unless they are on sale, really super cute, or your dog promises to be easy next time. Until then, you just go tie a knot in one of your socks with a hole in the heel. Voila, you have a free toy for a great game of tug o’ war and no filling or pieces to tear apart! I’m tempted to say, “let him play with rocks,” but my dog eats rocks so…lesson learned, maybe.
This is Monday's Mischief Pet Blog Hop hosted by
 Alfie's Blog, Snoopy's Dog Blog, and My Brown Newfies 
Click links below for some hilarious mischief!

29 comments :

  1. Yup, the soft toys don't last long in this house, either! Mine even chew up kongs! I've found one or two toys that last, and that's all I buy now. Save my money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kongs are just about the only ones that last around our home. I just wish they were cute but mine kill cute! LOL!

      Delete
  2. We've had squeakers stop working because they were squeaked so much but all of our toys have remained intact. The dogs have always been that way so I have no training tips. At least your dogs enjoy it while they have it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They definitely enjoy them! My granddog Westie is the one that shreds them. He is still only in the "terrible twos" so maybe someday he'll stop.

      Delete
  3. Squeakers never last long at our house since we over squeak them, but we rarely "kill" a toy. Last night Bailie was gnawing on a duck and gnawed the head off causing stuffing in the belly to pop out, but duck was quickly sent to the graveyard. We aren't real toy dogs, so once we get over being a puppy, we never really have any toy issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bentley enjoys playing ball and tug o war. Pierre loves all of his toys and they are scattered everywhere. He is still young so he attacks anything stuffed and "unstuffs" it. : ) I love your Instagram of Bailie under your desk <3

      Delete
  4. that was just too funny. That used to be true with Dakota but as he has matured, thankfully he no longer destroys his toys......but rocks? That's another story :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't understand how they can chew rocks!! Bentley loves acorns and so did my Golden Retriever. He used to put them on his paw and crack them open. They are so entertaining!

      Delete
  5. Great story!

    I buy our plush toys at yard sales--the ones that are safe for babies. I let the dogs disembowel them (that's fun!) with supervision. Then they play with what's left. We call them "pelts."

    It works out for everyone. I don't care if they destroy something I've spend 50 cents on, they get to shred it, and they enjoy the toy even after there's no more stuffing. Though I do have to keep an eye on my Tucker; when one of the bits gets too small--usually after a vigorous game of tug between 2 of the dogs--he starts thinking about eating in. Small pieces are therefore given a proper burial--in the trash.

    --Woofs (and purrs) from Life with Dogs and Cats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a great idea! I need to check out some of my neighborhood sales and pick some up! Thanks : )

      Delete
  6. haha!!! To true, to true!!!
    My girls LOVE stuffed squeaky toys! But as you said they are torn apart within minutes!!
    Deer antlers work really well for a chew toy that doesnt get destroyed easily.
    Although squeak toys are more fun :)
    ((husky hugz))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My daughter sent antlers to the boys for Christmas and they were a huge hit!!

      Delete
  7. Haha - thus proving making/selling dog toys ensures repeat business! At least the Kong ball remains intact - those things are made to last!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right! It's no wonder the dog toys are a multi-million dollar industry. Kong toys are pretty much all that we have left over a period of time.

      Delete
  8. You know what I'm going to say, right? Get the dog a Jones chew! A Bandit's Bone or a Hoof. Bully Sticks. But then, my own dogs don't really care for toys. :(
    www.dogtreatweb.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course, that's true! A Bully Stick will last my Westie a few days. I need to stop into the pet store you found that carries Jones' chews!

      Delete
  9. Lol. Leroy only destroyed toys when he was a puppy. Now he's pretty good with him, but if he wanted too he could totally rip one to shreds in seconds!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bentley is pretty good with them, but Pierre will play with them for awhile then decide they MUST die! Hahaha!

      Delete
  10. When Peanut was still with us, he loved to chase dollies down the hall. He was so tiny that just the hall to the bedrooms was long enough to give him a good workout. He got along really well on that one half-pad on his one foot that was still there. But the others would grab his toys and rip them apart. (Jerks.) So I went looking for squeekers in bulk, but no luck. Couldn't even find where to buy even one squeeker, much less multiples! So, down to old socks and ripped up sweats cut into pieces and tied into knots. No squeeky, but at least he had toys!

    God, I miss him.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you made it back to the computer! : ) Socks make great toys! Those squeakers will drive you bonkers after awhile and you'll wish you could make them hush! LOL!

      Delete
  11. I loved this blog. My dog destroys toys too, except for the toy Duck I got him when he was a pup coming home for the first time. That is the one toy that has survived. I laughed all the way through reading your blog. I loved it, the only thing I can say is you might have to put your dog on a Toy budget.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! I'm thinking of a T.E.A. support group, Toy Eaters Anonymous. I'm glad you have a least one surviving duck.

      Delete
  12. Haha that's great! Our longest lasting stuffed toy lived the the ripe old age of 11 months, and that's only because it got stuck under the furniture. Once found, Nola promptly destroyed it.
    Nola's Mom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's funny! One of my readers sent each of the boys a gift and Pierre received a stuffed squirrel. I let him play with it for a few minutes but then I put it up so he didn't kill it. He only gets to play with it under close supervision. : )

      Delete
  13. haha, I think the same thing when I am looking at toys to buy. I thought that canvas duck would of held up better. Just think if you tie a knot in a old sock, every sock will be fair game! Mine are always carrying socks around.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Y'all!

    Oh my Human understands. My big sister, a Chessie long over the Rainbow Bridge, was gentle with stuffies and didn't like squeak toys. If they squeaked she would never touch them again, ever. So my Human bought her soft cuddly toys in the children's department.

    Enter me, Hawkeye and the first thing I managed to do was chew the end off a black Kong toy. I am no longer that destructive, but my Human sticks to Kong toys and only recently allowed me to play with toys in the house. Previously I only got a toy outside and it was interactive play with the Humans.

    Y'all come by now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

    ReplyDelete
  15. Luckily Rita is pretty gentle with her toys, for the most part - unless she's super bored! The one thing she always does is tear the tag off, but other than that, she plays with them for weeks or months before destroying them. But our last dog was the kind Negative Nellie knows all about! Even the "tuff toys" were no match for her! I started buying her stuffed animals for 25c at garage sales just so she could have her destructive fun, and I wouldn't feel so ripped off!

    ReplyDelete
  16. We also tell ourselves that they will outgrow the destructive phase. Mine didn't (I'm sure some do though). With a new puppy in the house, we got a bunch of plush toys, and guess what? His two 9 year old sisters are teaching him the art of destruction and gleefully feeding him stuffing!
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

    ReplyDelete
  17. Uh oh - A very familiar story!!

    I'm 3 now and I've been similar but different on this subject - I still have toys from when I was a puppy, I have toys that were passed down to me from the kids - I DO NOT have the stuffies I was given around the age of 2 (well mum has them all in a box cos she thinks she's gonna repair them!) and now that I'm allowed stuffies again and also have my newer ones still all in one piece, well a couple of slight damaged areas, but that's probably bad workmanship! Tee Hee

    So I guess what I'm saying is there's hope! Maybe? :)

    I hope you're having a fun day,

    Your pal Snoopy :)

    ReplyDelete

I'd love to hear from you! Bark back!