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"Although this appears to be the newest Whack-o-Squirrel game, it's not." |
Bentley: “Welcome to BFTB News, I’m
your news hound Bentley. Here is our top
story; a squirrel in Germany apparently got its head stuck in a manhole
cover. A Good Samaritan flagged down an
officer to help rescue the trapped tree rat.
Although rescuing a squirrel should be a simple task, the officers discovered
that was not the case. After trying to
pull the nut hoarder free, they lifted the drain cover. It was obviously a case of karma kicking in,
because that little dude wasn’t budging.
A woman brought a bottle of olive oil to assist at the scene. The officers rubbed it around the squirrel’s
neck and body. After 15 minutes of
pushing and pulling, the ungrateful rodent ran into a nearby garden and up a
tree. Does that surprise my co-anchor Pierre? Psst…Pierre quit laughing…seriously; it’s
your turn to report.”
Pierre:
“Thanks Bent-snicker-snort-ley. I always assume the worst of a squirrel’s
manners. Personally, I would have
suggested pouring a thick country-style gravy on it. Hee hee, ha-ha. Sorry, my bad. Ahem…As
strange as it may seem, we have another rodent in the news this week. We are sad to report the death of Chuck the
Groundhog. Chuck was last seen as he wiggled
his way out of New York Mayor deBlasio’s arms on Groundhog Day. He plummeted to the ground and died a week
later of internal injuries. It was
originally reported that Chuck died of natural causes. To be fair, if you are a groundhog and you
fall from the arms of a 6’ 3” human, it is natural that it would cause your
death. Just sayin’. Back to you Bentley.”
Bentley: “All I can say is I’d never
plant my garden on the word of a ginormous rodent. It just seems kinda hokey to me. Here’s a story that you just don’t get to
report every day. Authorities report
arresting a man at the U.S./Canadian border with 51 live turtles stuffed in his
pants. He had taped them to his body as
he attempted to cross into Ontario. The
turtles were eastern box turtles, red-eared sliders, and diamondback terrapins
that can fetch $800 each. A second
Canadian was arrested with more than 200 North American pond turtles in his
checked luggage at the Detroit airport. I’m
stunned those turtles didn’t bust some ninja moves on those culprits.”
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"Congratulations to Susie, American Humane Society's Hero Dog of 2014." |
Pierre:
“Even though I have had words with a turtle in our yard, I don’t
condone taping them to your body for any reason. Now, let’s give a high five to Susie, the American
Humane Society’s Hero Dog of 2014. She is
a pit bull mix from High Point North Carolina.
She has overcome an incredibly horrible situation. Someone who had also endured a bad experience
rescued Susie and it changed both of their lives for the better. She was selected from a field of eight other
award winning hero dogs. You can read
more of their stories here or watch “Hero Dog Awards” on the Hallmark Channel
October 30 at 8:00P.M. /7:00 P.M. Central time.
BFTB News salutes and thanks all of these terrific dogs.”
Bentley: “Way to be awesome
dogs! On the political front, we here at
Channel 7 don’t like to repeat gossip, so I urge you to all read closely the
first time. A credible source informs us
that Stanley has been seen with a blonde dog at a restaurant and a secluded
part of the Blogville Park. The question
remains who exactly is this female and why is this relationship being kept
secret? For the sake of the mayoral
race, I hope this isn’t anything to cast a bad light on the Doodle
brothers. Dory’s camp seems to be on
edge from my observations. She has been
seen zooming around town dressed to the nines.
You can count on us to dig up any dirt surrounding these rendezvouses.”
Pierre:
“This week New York Yankee baseball great Derek Jeter played his
last game in a remarkable 20 year career.
He will be missed and we tip our hats to him. I also saw that a cow with a number 7 on his
head has gone viral, because he was named after Pittsburg Steeler Ben Roethlisberger. What’s up with that Bentley?”
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"My number 7 is my lucky charm." |
Bentley: “I was wondering the same thing. I
have had a #7 on my hip for my whole life.
Why am I not viral? We need to
investigate to see who this cow’s publicity manager is because clearly, I wear
it better. On the bright side, I will
never be a hamburger. The week of
October 1 thru 7th has been declared Walk Your Dog Week with the
Cascadian Nomads and My GBGV Life. My sweetie
Emma and her sisters are joining our Nomad friends to encourage humans to walk
their dogs. I will personally see to it
that Mom and Dad take us for a stroll each day.
They have a lot of fun planned, so hop over to see my Emma for all the
information. Tell her that Bentley said “Hey.”
Pierre: “Let’s take a
look at the weather for the next few days.
Hopefully, the shaking and quaking will stop after rattling Alaska and California
in the past few days. It appears that
rain is likely all over the United States.
We may even see some wet stuff here in the bayou. I know our Spider Lilies will be happy. That’s it for me. Bentley?”
Bentley: “Thank you all for joining us in another episode of BFTB Channel 7
News. Be sure to check back this week
for stories and reviews that you’ll want to know. Take care of each other and be sure to grab
some happy each day.”
News Sources: http://www.pawnation.com/
Squirrel photo
courtesy of EPA/Landov
Susie’s photo
courtesy of the American Humane Society
We are joining our hosts My Brown Newfies, Alfie’s Blog, and Snoopy’s Dog Blog for Mischief Monday. Have fun laughing along with these other mischievous blogs!
Some special stories this week you guys but I personally like the Walk Your Dog Week hype. Thanks! I am so glad you and mom will be strollin' along with us Bentley- lucky 7 and all!
ReplyDeleteBOL at the trapped tree rat. Now off to the park in honour of walk your dog week. Nice one. Have a marvellous Monday.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes Molly
BOL! Love the trapped tree rat!! Wish more of those varmints would get trapped! Xo Chloe and LadyBug
ReplyDeleteGreat news summary. We'll miss Derek Jeter, too. Such a great person and player...
ReplyDeleteWags (and purrs) from Life with Dogs and Cats.
Stupid tree rats! BOL! As a Boston Red Sox fan, Jeter is the only Yankee we like! BOL!
ReplyDeletegreat update on all the news guys
ReplyDelete"Whack-o-Squirrel game" BOL
ReplyDeletewoah!!!! What's up with the turtles??!! In his pants!!!!! Interesting to say the least!
ReplyDeleteღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
Tree Rats! LOL so great.
ReplyDeleteI heard some tasty gossip the other day. I heard that a certain Tulsa blogger will be passing through your town on Friday, October 24th. Will your pups be up to visitors? And a couple of extra dog friends visiting?
ReplyDeletewww.dogtreatweb.com
Love your news, boys! That tree rat sure was ungrateful...typical of a tree rat! We are waiting for some rain here this week and cooler weather, thankfully. Thanks for the shout out...we sure hope everyone puts paws to pavement and celebrates the special week! <3
ReplyDeleteI recommend a nice champagne sauce to go with squirrel! What kind of nut tapes a turtle to himself, let alone bunches of them? Humans!
ReplyDeleteOur weather is perfect for walk your dog week and I am extremely excited!
Bunny
Another excellent news report! BTW, the word on the street is that tomorrow you will see who the female is!!
ReplyDeleteYour Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
We did get some rain out here in California last week and it was the best!! I think you are the cutest #7 mascot Bentley!
ReplyDeleteGreat report, guys! I don't even know why I watch the regular news anymore....you guys cover all the really important stories!
ReplyDeletePS...yes, we think you need a new publicity manager, Bentley. You can't be outdone by a cow! :)
Jan & the crew at Wag 'n Woof Pets
Hey Guys
ReplyDeleteI think the squirrel ran away cos he was afraid he was gonna have to get a bath after being doused in oil!
I remember my encounter with the guinea pigs and getting covered in glue (long story), and then being doused in oil to get the glue off and having a million baths over the next few days, so not fun! :(
I hope you're having a fun day,
Your pal Snoopy :)
Wow!! So much going on!!! Keep your noses to the ground, I think some big news will be breaking in the next couple of days!!
ReplyDeleteSmileys!
Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo
BOL….. Whack-o-Squirrel! I love your news program. You guys should get an award for it. Just sayin.
ReplyDeleteWags,
Ranger