BFTB Channel 7 NETWoof News for 10~20~2014

"This photo is of two chimpanzees housed at Chimp Haven. You can see more photos, as well as how to sponsor a chimp in our resources link." 

Bentley: “Welcome to another week of BFTB Channel 7 NETWoof News.  I’m your anchor Bentley and along with my partner Pierre, we track the news you need to know.  This week’s top story asks the question; is a chimpanzee entitled to “legal personhood” status?  A New York court will make that decision in the case of Tommy the Chimp.  He lives in a cage at a private residence.  Tommy’s lawyer is asking that his chimp client be given “legal personhood” which would make keeping him confined/imprisoned against the law.  He is working to get Tommy and several other chimpanzees moved to a Florida sanctuary with lakes, islands, and other chimps to monkey around with every day.  The owner says Tommy has special needs and will not do well in that environment.  How do you think the courts will rule, Pierre?”

Pierre: “I don’t think it will pass since we dogs are still considered property.  I mean, sure chimpanzees are just a few chromosomes shy a human, but we wag our tails.  Besides, if Tommy has any special needs, I would think they would be to live free in a secured sanctuary.  Being caged is what makes them do things like eat people’s faces.  We have Chimp Haven a few miles away.  They house chimpanzees who have been research subjects, entertainers, or pets from across the U.S.  It is a wonderful retirement and they all seem very happy.  In 2007, one older fellow had been given a vasectomy and still got his girlfriend pregnant.  Their daughter, Tracy will remain at Chimp Haven throughout her life.  They have a swinging great time.”

Bentley: “That is the truth.  We’ll keep our nose on this story and let you know.  In another story, a puppy was discovered in the pocket of a suspected drug dealer in Massachusetts.  The tiny three-week-old Pit Bull puppy was handed over to animal control.  We all know that three weeks is way too young to be taken from your mom.  *sniff – sniff  The poor baby was sick and dehydrated, but is now recovering at Blue Pearl Vet.  The puppy that now goes by the name “Pocket” will be ready for adoption in a few weeks.”

Pierre: “Grrr, I’m sorry, but those stories really raise my back hair.  Pockets was probably destined to a life of violence if he’d not been discovered.  Humans are the reasons for silly Breed-Specific-Legislation.  They need to make it Stupid-Dogowners-Legislation since dogs are not born to rip each other apart.  Aurora, Colorado has finally put the question on the November ballot.  Today, 700 cities in 19 states have laws prohibiting pit bulls or other breeds deemed dangerous.”

Bentley: “Humans are definitely blaming the wrong end of the leash.  Our story about the nurse’s dog in Madrid being euthanized after the owner became infected with Ebola dismayed many in our audience.  This next story will bring a smile back to your face when you think of Madrid.  They have deployed citizen street patrol and actors in detective costumes to fight an invasion of doggie doo.  That’s right, for the next two weeks Sherlock Holmes and others will urge cleaner sidewalks in Getafe, just outside of Madrid.”

"Always #ScoopThatPoop, even if it is the .8 piece."

Pierre: “They claim the citizens asked for it.  A recent study showed an average of 7.8 pieces of dog poo every 100 yards.  Question; what constitutes an eighth of a point when it comes to poop?  I’m thinking it’s the old dingle berry situation.  You know where you have to run really fast, jumping, and spinning to get it to drop. I hate when that happens! On an unrelated, but more palatable topic, did you know that Oreos have flowers on the chocolate cookie?  Each one has 12 flowers, 12 dots, and 12 dashes.  The yummy sandwich cookie is 102 years old.  That’s even older than Gramma!  If you were to lay out every Oreo ever made, they would circle the equator over 381 times, according to Buzzfeed.”

Bentley: “I love the smell of Oreos.  Did you know that research shows 41% of women are twisters and 84% of men eat their cookie whole?  100% of dogs steal theirs and tend to inhale them before being busted.  Chocolate is not good for dogs.  We aren’t necessarily allergic to it, chocolate is poisonous to us.  I do have a story on allergies though.  This involves a dog that is actually allergic to humans!  The owners of Lucky Dog Retreat Rescue saved Adam, a Black Lab in Indiana.  They gave him top-notch food, and special flea baths.  His condition did not improve, so he was given a blood test.  The results were positive; Adam was allergic to human dander.  His veterinarians believe they can correct the problem.  A serum has been developed and he is receiving allergy shots.  We wish him the best.  What’s new on the sports front this week?”

Pierre: “There are a number of stories, but this is by far our favorite.  Louisiana native Peyton Manning broke the NFL record held by Brett Favre with his 509th touchdown pass in a big win against the San Francisco 49ers.  He ended the game with 510 in all.  That just goes to show that sometimes the good guy finishes on top.  We join football fans everywhere saying Way to be awesome Peyton!  Do we have any weather this week?”

Bentley: “I certainly hope we have weather!  Hee hee!  Our friends in the Northeast will have a cold start with those lows strengthening to a Nor’eastern.  The Midwest will have a few weak storms and the air will be chilly.  Bayou country and the west will see temperatures hover between 70˚ - 80˚.  We all have a slight chance of rain.”

Pierre: “That wraps it up from the desk of BFTB NETWoof News.  Be sure to check back in with us throughout the week.  We have a very special friend visiting the Bayou on Friday.  Here’s a hint…we love this Flea!  Bentley, back to you!”

Bentley: “Thanks Pierre and thanks to all of you for following our newscast.  Remember, our ears are always open to your news stories so drop us a line at on our contact information tab.  Until next time, stay safe and be sure to grab some happy.”

News Resource Links by topics

Tommy the Chimpanzee 

Chimp Haven 

Pocket the Puppy 

Breed Specific Legislation   

Poo Police 

Oreos 

Dog Allergic to Humans 

Peyton Manning 

We consider our newscasts to be both factual and mischievous, so we join our friends My Brown Newfies, Snoopy’s Dog Blog, and Alfie’s Blog for their Mischief Monday.  Click on their names to visit great blogs and to find other terrifically mischievous bloggers.

Today’s news also falls on Sugar the Golden Retriever’s #ScoopThatPoop blog hop.  Since we covered the Spanish Poop Patrol, we are joining her in this month’s hop.  Visit Sugar by clicking her name and enjoy more Scoop-tacular blogs.

We thank all of these amazing bloggers for hosting today’s blog hops.