BFTB Channel 7 NETWoof News February 2, 2015

Bentley: “Happy Groundhog friends.  I'm not sure if Punxsutawny Phil saw his shadow or not.  It is difficult for me to hang my hat on the word of an over-sized rodent.  We appreciate you joining us for another BFTB NETWoof News.  We nose the news!  It’s been a busy week of tracking the very best pet stories.  Pierre, my co-anchor has our top story.

Pierre: “Greetings!  I hope that everyone has recovered from the big Bowl games.  The Puppy Bowl and the Kitten Bowl had the BFTB crew on our paws all day!  Of course, that has to wait until sports.  In the meantime, our top news story might have you believing that cats really do get nine lives.  A Florida cat named Bart was found lying lifeless in the middle of the road in a pool of blood.  Bart’s owner was devastated by the loss and watched as his neighbor dug a grave and buried his poor cat.  Can you imagine this man’s expression when he opened his door five days later to see another neighbor standing there holding his very undead Bart.  He was filthy, dehydrated, and in need of immediate medical assistance.  The cat has undergone surgery to remove one eye, repair a broken jaw, and close some facial wounds.  After a recovery period he is expected to be fine.  Hopefully, he will be an inside cat in the future.”

Bentley: “Wow!  That’s a story that makes you scratch behind your ear.  This next one has me shaking my head.  A dog in Philadelphia also joined the post-op care group, but a car didn’t hit him.  Vince, a four-year old mixed breed ate a PAIR of calf-high women’s’ Frye boots.  The average cost of these boots is over $200, so at least we know he has great taste.  Now whether these boots tasted great or not, I can’t say.  The emergency vet was stunned by its x-ray.  You could actually see the number of eyelets on the boots.  The amount of leather material was so big that Vince’s tummy couldn’t pass it into his small intestines.  One thing for sure, for a little while, the dog had a lot of sole!”

Pierre: “A lot of sole…that’s funny!  Speaking of funny, did you get a look at the Dachshund/Pit Bull mix online?  He has an awesome Pit Bull head but the body of a Dachshund.  Rami is up for adoption at the Moultrie Colquitt Humane Society.  He has become an internet star, so I’m sure a home will open up to him soon.  If any of our readers are interested, you can learn more about him by clicking here.”

Bentley: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you know.  Our last story has to do with a tiny hero.  A young girl in Georgia was walking her four-year old Jack Russell Terrier before school.  A strange man pulled up and grabbed the little girl by her wrist.  That is when he discovered that dynamite comes in small packages.  The dog defended his girl by attacking the man.  Living up to the term ankle-biter, the man released the girl when the tiny defender sunk his teeth into his leg.  I love when a little guy finishes big.  Now, speaking of big finishes, let’s talk sports.”

Paisley: “Hey y’all!  I want to talk about the Puppy Bowl.  We watched the big game and it was so much fun.  I would love to play, but it is for pups that need homes.  I’m ineligible, thank goodness.  Did y’all see Falcor?  He was dreamy.”  *swoons

Pierre: “Sweetie, we don’t refer to athletes as dreamy.  Falcor proved to be quite a contender.  He scored four touchdowns and tied the Puppy Bowl record.  Plus, he scored a new family!  Winner!”

Bentley: “Let’s don’t forget Bryan Adams scoring only the second field goal in Puppy Bowl history.  I was happy to see the players go home with their new humans at the end.  The game had the most points ever scored with a final of the Ruffs 87 to the Fluffs 49.  I did enjoy the halftime show with Catty Purry.  That gal knows how to put on a show.”

Paisley: “I loved her outfit.  She looked very pretty.  How about the Kitten Bowl?  Did you boys watch that cat fight?  The Lucy Bowl commercial was fabulous!  I was totally Team Dog, but some of those little kitties sure were cute.  I was glad that the Wildcats won over the Hearties, but sheesh that overtime was intense.  Oh, I want to give a shout out to my friend Hooch from Cello’s Corner.  He had his first official jump in the dock diving world.  It was an astounding 16’.  I am going to have to get him to work with Daddy and me.  Maybe I can dive off our boat to practice.  That’d be super duper fun!””

Pierre: “I’m sure you will be great in the water.  What is going on with our Weather Lab?  Are we expecting any water from the sky?”

Paisley: “I have been tracking some pretty severe snow heading to the upper east coast.  There are some rainstorms rumbling across the south and the west coast could have sporadic rainstorms this week.  Temperatures will run the gamut from the teens to the low seventies.  Remember in the words of Annie, the sun will come out tomorrow.”

Bentley: “Thanks Paisley.  Before we sign off, I have a P.S.A. for our friends.  That’s a Pet Service Announcement.  All this week the Blogville police Department is having some hilarious training classes.  You won’t want to miss a single session.  Pierre and I will be conducting a training class on tracking bad guys this Wednesday.  Believe me; you do not want to miss this!  You can find all of the classes by visiting my buddy Ranger.  The second and perhaps most important thing for our human friends to know is February has been deemed “Spoil Your Pet” month.  I urge all of you to step it up on the belly rubs, walks, playtime, and toys.  My store, Bentley’s Bargains has a lot of everything for your pets and because I love y’all, I have special deals. That’s going to do it for this week’s report.  We will be pre-empted next Monday for an amazing story, but join us again in two weeks.  Of course, visit our regular posts every day.  Don’t forget to enter for your chance to win a bottle of Rejeneril.  This stuff is incredible!  Until next time, stay safe and be sure to grab yourself some happy!”

News Sources:

Zombie Cat

Dachshund/PitBull 

Dog with sole 

Tiny Dog ~ Big Hero 

Puppy Bowl

Kitten Bowl