Doing 60 on the Bayou

Pierre: “Today is our Mom’s birthday and for the past few years, Bentley has interviewed her about growing up and getting older. Some of his questions seemed kinda harsh so I thought it’d be a good idea to join him this year. At her advanced age it might not be a good idea to get her all riled up.”

Bentley: “I am never harsh with her. She knows a good journalist has to dig in order to separate fact from fiction. Our readers want to know if she actually rode a dinosaur to school or if she trudged 5 miles one way in the deep, deep snow. Heck, I want to know!”

Me: “Hey, boys. Did y’all want to see me for something?”

Pierre & Bentley: “Happy birthday!!”

Bentley: “We asked you to come into the office today so we could ask you a few questions in celebration of your big day…and when I say big, I mean REALLY big!”

Me: “Thanks for thinking of me. Yes, it is a big birthday since I’m 60 years old today. I mean, how did that happen?”

Pierre: “I hate to point out the obvious but it’s because you already had 59 other birthdays. Those things can really add up. Wow! Sixty, huh?”

Bentley: “Pssst, try to act like 60 is not ancient. You don’t want to hurt her feelings. Sooo, Mom…how are you feeling today? It’s your birthday and the first day of spring. That gives us two great reasons to celebrate. Remember, age is just a number. The fact that yours is an incredibly high number shouldn’t bother you too much.”

Me: “You should check yourself, Bentley. You are 77 in dog years so pfffft!”

Bentley: “Oh, that was really mature! Besides in dog years you are gaining on Methuselah. All I am saying is that you have been around a long time and should be able to tell us about the good ol’ days.”

Pierre: “Maybe you could tell us about the toys that you played with as a child. Probably a lot of stick and rock games, right?”

Me: “We played outside most of the time. There were only three television channels so unless it was Saturday morning cartoons or Captain Kangaroo there wasn’t much on that interested me. The neighborhood kids played hide & seek, rode bikes, and played ball together. It was a simpler time but you made friends in the neighborhood or at school. There were no such thing as cyber friends.”

Bentley: “I guess if y’all could only afford three channels, then video games and Netflix was out of the question. How old were you when you got your first cell phone?”

Me: “Everyone only had three channels. That is all there was, and it turned off at night. There were no 24- hour television stations. Video games, computers, and cell phones were not invented when I was a kid. I guess I got my first cell phone in my late 40’s. Growing up, the phones were attached to the wall. We used to leave the house with no phone and no answering machine at home. There wasn’t caller ID either so you never knew if you missed a call or who was calling you.”

*Bentley and Pierre both left the room in gales of laughter. After drinking some water and going outside, they had composed themselves enough to finish this wacky heartwarming interview.

Pierre: “I want to apologize for that outburst. Uhh, we both thought of a funny joke at the same time. We are good to go now. 

   Let’s take a look at your teenage years. Did you have a job? How about a car? Can we look on Instagram or Facebook to see what kind of food you ate?”

Me: “I actually had several jobs, but my first real job was at a fast food restaurant called Arthur Treacher’s Fish & Chips. After that, I worked at Spencer’s Gifts in the tee shirt, posters and black light department. That was during the Farrah Fawcett poster madness! I was super cool as a teenager, but we didn’t have Instagram or Facebook. Actually, I am extremely thankful that there was no social media back when I was doing stupid teenage stuff.”

Bentley: “Yeah, we all are, Mom. Do you have big plans for your 60’s or any goals that you’d like to share with us? We enjoyed your fifties since it was all about writing your books, starting Barking from the Bayou, and us. Hopefully these next few years will continue to focus on Pierre and me. If you think about it, what would this blog be without us? You’d have to change the name to Boring from the Bayou!"

Pierre: “Okay, see that is exactly what I was talking about when I said you can be harsh. 

   Mom, what Bentley is trying to ask is if we are going to continue to be an integral part of your daily life as you venture into this new decade.”

Me: “Y’all can rest assured that whatever happens, you two will always be one of the best and most important parts of my life. If we are through, there might be some treats waiting in the other room to celebrate!”

Bentley: “That does it for this year’s interview with a really old person. Mom did confirm rather loudly that she did NOT ride a dinosaur to school. (Note: She did not confirm or deny owning a dinosaur) Since she grew up in Louisiana, she NEVER had to go to school in the snow. 

   We hope you enjoyed looking back at the olden days with us but it’s party time and we are never late for cake!”

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