BFTB NETWoof News April 1, 2019

Bentley Basset Hound: “Hello and welcome to BFTB NETWoof News for the first day of April 2019. We have stories that you won’t see ANYWHERE else today so let’s have Pierre fetch our top story.”

Pierre Westie: “The Bayou Boys have been in touch with NASA after Bentley was spotted on radar in his private rocket. The scientists were so impressed with the craftmanship of the Hound Dog #7 Rocket Pack, they are planning on a mission to the moon in early 2020. Stay tuned for updates.”

Bentley: “Speaking of scientists, a recent in-depth study proves that rolling in stinky stuff is not only great for dogs but can improve sinus congestion in humans. It seems the rancid smell can actually be smelled by someone whose nostrils have been completely clogged.  Everyone is urged to allow their dogs roll in whatever they might find interesting. Baths are not recommended after these stink rolls.”

Pierre: “Everybody wants to be a cat, especially now that the newest home fashion craze is “Cat Shred Chic”. That’s right say goodbye to all of those scratching posts because your humans are going to beg you to shred their couch, recliner and bed! If you want to be on the cutting edge of home décor, it might be a good idea to start shredding the curtains now.”

Graphic photo credit

Bentley: “A new law taking effect on this April 1^st will enable dogs and cats to surrender their unwanted humans at their local shelter. If your humans have gotten old, talk incessantly, you need to move, or they just aren’t fun anymore, you can now dump them at the nearest human society.

   Excuse me, we have an update to this law. It seems no dogs or cats would ever give up or abandon their humans. They’re love is unconditional and unending.

   I’m sorry, it seems we have an update to our update. There is a cat outside of Detroit that is considering their humans latest action and deciding the next step. It seems her food was not warmed to her satisfaction and it was delivered two minutes late. I don’t know but that could just be lack of training on the cat’s part. Training humans requires patience and if you rescued them, then it can be even more trying. Humans need to be reminded of feeding times with extremely loud meowing or barking. Staring is also a good option. We will keep you posted but I think a little extra catnip and all will be forgiven.

   How is the weather forecast Paisley?”

Paisley the Weather Lab: “I am happy to report the weather is going to be perfect all over the country. Blue skies with the sun shining and birds singing. Flowers will begin to bloom and there will be a gentle breeze. The pollen has dissipated, and everyone’s allergies should clear up.

   You should tune into your local stations for updates or warnings in your area.”

Bentley: “We hope you enjoyed today’s BFTB NETWoof News and Weather. There is just one more thing I have to say on behalf of the entire news team…

😂HAPPY APRIL FOOLS’ DAY🤡

   It was the perfect time to have some fun in the news room and we hope you got a snicker with us. We made up all of today’s news and weather. Have you ever played an epic April Fools’ joke on someone? Tell us in the comments! 

   We will be back on Wednesday for this week’s Pet Parade. Have a great day and don’t forget to grab yourself some happy!

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