When Someone You Love Has Cancer

   Let me start off by letting you know that this is not my regular fun blog post. I have thought about what I wanted to say today for over half a year. There really aren’t words to express the combination of love, pride, and sadness that I want to convey but I am going to try.

   How do you express your feelings when someone that you love is faced with cancer? My first reaction was disbelief but that was quickly replaced with anger and extreme sadness. I’m sure that most people experience those same feelings. I don’t know if I would react differently if the person affected were older or lead an unhealthy lifestyle but that is not the case. 

   My beautiful, sweet, funny 28-year-old niece Kelsey was diagnosed with colon cancer in January. How could someone who is just starting their adult life have to face such a cruel diagnosis? It is simple. Cancer has no age limit. Cancer sucks. Cancer is not fair. Cancer is stupid.

Valentine's Day Poetry for Pups

Bentley and Pierre are such romantics that they asked to write their own poetry for Valentine’s Day. 

Happy 9th Birthday, Bentley Basset Hound

We are celebrating Bentley’s 9^th birthday!!

   In honor of this milestone, I thought I’d share 9 reasons I love him so much. Okay, there are seriously a gazillion little things that he does to melt my heart but sticking with the theme of 9, I will hit the highlights. If you have never read how he came to live with us, please take a minute to check out Bentley’s Story. It explains a lot.

   Without further ado and in no particular order here are…

9 of the Gazillion Reasons I love

Bentley Basset Hound

7 Reasons Dogs Make the Best Friends

Why dogs make the best friends

1.  Dogs understand quiet time.

Reality Calls for Dog Hugs

There are some days when the world’s reality makes you need to hug your dog.

Grief and the Loss of Your Pet

   One of the most exciting times in a pet parent’s life is the day we bring home our new best friend. From the day they come into our lives, we love, feed, train, cuddle, and kiss them. They know our deepest secrets and give us unconditional love. We carry their pictures, post them Facebook, and talk about them like any proud parent. Our pets are happier than anyone else when we come home at the end of the day. Dogs and cats don’t question us, they never stay angry, and trust us 100%. They are very nearly perfect. 

   Their only fault is a shorter lifespan than we are given. I have grieved the loss of many wonderful cats and dogs. It never gets easier and I’ve never truly prepared myself to say “good-bye.”

The Pet Grieving Process

   The normal grief process usually begins with anger. Those feelings may be directed at your veterinarian, other family members, yourself, or your beloved pet. The other feeling you have to deal with is the guilt. Was there something you could have done to achieve a different outcome? Then, you dwell on the times you may have lost patience with your pet or didn’t throw that ball one more time. Once these initial feelings subside, the true feelings of sadness emerge. The important thing to remember is all of these feelings are the normal process in achieving your final goal of acceptance. It is also important to know that you don’t have to grieve alone. Share your feelings with the rest of your family. There are pet bereavement counseling services, pet-loss support hotlines, local or online Internet groups, books, videos, and magazine articles. You may want to plan a memorial service for your pet. Writing about your feelings, memories, and the things you want to tell your dog or cat can be very therapeutic.

   If there is a child in your family, it is extremely important to listen to their feelings. The loss of a pet is sometimes the first experience they have dealing with death. The way you handle this grief with a child will affect how they handle such losses in the future. You may find them becoming fearful of losing other loved ones in their lives. Give them the support and reassurance they need and don’t be afraid to let them know that you are also grieving.

   There is another family member who must not be forgotten during this time. If you have more than one pet, the ones left behind may also experience grief. The surviving pet might whimper, search for their friend, and refuse to eat, or become lethargic. This is the way animals express their sadness at the loss of their companion and is not much different from humans. Spend more time with the grieving pet and you’ll see a positive impact on both of you. Pets pick up on our emotions so a little extra love and snuggling will go a long way towards healing both of your hearts.

   A common sentiment after the death of your pet is “I will never get another dog/cat.  It’s just too painful to lose them.” Going out to get a new pet is not advisable until you’ve come to terms with your recent loss. It may be as short as a month to more than a year before you’re ready to welcome a new pet into your life. Everyone has his or her own timeline for the grieving process. 

   The only way to get through life without the pain of a pet’s death is never to know the love of one in the first place. I think that would be a sad and lonely way to protect your heart. You will always carry the love of a lost pet with you. They leave huge paw prints on our hearts. There is one thing that I am certain of though; your pet wanted nothing more than to make you happy. Don’t lose sight of the fact that your dog or cat wouldn’t want you to grieve too long.