One of the most exciting times in a pet parent’s life is the day
we bring home our new best friend. From the day they come into our lives,
we love, feed, train, cuddle, and kiss them. They know our deepest secrets
and give us unconditional love. We carry their pictures, post them Facebook,
and talk about them like any proud parent. Our pets are happier than
anyone else when we come home at the end of the day. Dogs and cats don’t
question us, they never stay angry, and trust us 100%. They are very nearly
perfect.
Their only fault is a shorter lifespan than we are given. I have
grieved the loss of many wonderful cats and dogs. It never gets easier and
I’ve never truly prepared myself to say “good-bye.”
The Pet Grieving Process
The normal grief process usually begins with anger. Those feelings may be directed at your veterinarian, other
family members, yourself, or your beloved pet. The other feeling you have to
deal with is the guilt. Was there
something you could have done to achieve a different outcome? Then, you dwell
on the times you may have lost patience with your pet or didn’t throw that ball
one more time. Once these initial feelings subside, the true feelings of sadness emerge. The important thing to
remember is all of these feelings are the normal process in achieving your final
goal of acceptance. It is also important to know that you don’t have to grieve
alone. Share your feelings with the rest of your family. There are pet bereavement counseling services,
pet-loss support hotlines, local or online Internet groups, books, videos, and
magazine articles. You may want to plan a memorial service for your
pet. Writing about your feelings, memories, and the things you want to
tell your dog or cat can be very therapeutic.
If there is a child in your family, it is
extremely important to listen to their feelings. The loss of a pet is
sometimes the first experience they have dealing with death. The way you
handle this grief with a child will affect how they handle such losses in the
future. You may find them becoming fearful of losing other loved ones in
their lives. Give them the support and reassurance they need and don’t be
afraid to let them know that you are also grieving.
There is another family member who must not be
forgotten during this time. If you have more than one pet, the ones left
behind may also experience grief. The surviving pet might whimper, search for
their friend, and refuse to eat, or become lethargic. This is the way animals
express their sadness at the loss of their companion and is not much different
from humans. Spend more time with the grieving pet and you’ll see a positive impact
on both of you. Pets pick up on our emotions so a little extra love and
snuggling will go a long way towards healing both of your hearts.
A common sentiment after the death of your
pet is “I will never get another dog/cat. It’s just too painful to lose
them.” Going out to get a new pet is not advisable until you’ve come to
terms with your recent loss. It may be as short as a month to more than a
year before you’re ready to welcome a new pet into your life. Everyone has
his or her own timeline for the grieving process.
The
only way to get through life without the pain of a pet’s death is never to know
the love of one in the first place. I think that would be a sad and lonely
way to protect your heart. You will always carry the love of a lost pet
with you. They leave huge paw prints on our hearts. There is one thing
that I am certain of though; your pet wanted nothing more than to make you
happy. Don’t lose sight of the fact that your dog or cat wouldn’t want you
to grieve too long.
wow. What a heavy post! Your right though, it needs to be said. Dealing with the loss of a pet is just horrid. As is dealing with the loss of any family member. I not had to deal with that since I have had children, so when/if that day comes, if they are still young, it will be hard....I can only imagine. Very informative post.
ReplyDeleteOn a brighter note, Happy Pet Parade! :)
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
Sad post, but good. Mom doesn't like to think about it. She is still teary eyed about Trine who passed ten years ago. I know when any of us pass, Mom will be a wreck but the ones left behind will help her get through it.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. It is important to let yourself grieve and go through all those emotions. So sorry to hear you had such a recent loss. It took me a few years to want to get another dog because I was so attached to my last one and just couldn't imagine loving another as much. And thank you for pointing out the other pets in the home will be grieving as well. Will be sharing. Oh and happy Pet Parading! ~Rascal and Rocco
ReplyDeletePowerful post, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt is very important to know how to say it, the post made me tear up!!!
❀ Siamese Smothers and Tuxie Tickles❀ from Mikko and Jax at Happiness is Siamese!
We've been through it four times as adults, and both a few times as children. It's different every time, and every time, it's opened our home up to new experiences and loves, too.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to say good-bye ... It makes you value more of time and life. Golden Thanks for sharing. Golden Woofs
ReplyDeleteI have loved and lost many dogs over my lifetime as I've generally had more than one dog at a time. Saying goodbye is always the worst time in our lives together but also the most loving thing you can do. I've only had one dog pass naturally. But I would never deprive another dog of a good home because I know it will eventually break my heart. Pets give so much joy they are well worth the inevitable grief.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post....it can be a great help to anyone going through this. It is the sad thing about having pets, that their lives are too short, but it is definitely worth it.
ReplyDeleteFor me, having multiple pets has really made it easier with our last two losses. The pain of loss is still the same, but having another pet or pets to love and snuggle with is a great comfort.
Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets
We've lost our share here and it is never easy. :( But we are always glad for the time we had with them.
ReplyDeleteWhat a very informative post, thanks for having the courage to write it!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter how many times one has faced the passing of one, or more,four legged friends, it never gets easier. Each new passing caused intense grief that only time can heal.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written and so true.
ReplyDeleteThat was a very lovely well said post, I'm glad you did it. The loss of a beloved pet is so very hard especially for me who doesn't have children and these animals are my life. I'm still grieving over the loss of Norman and I tell you my favorite blog post to make is my Saturday's Nothing But Norman. I get to relive his life and that keeps me going and I smile at all he was to me. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis is so very beautifully written. Still not a day goes by that I don't think of Tara a hundred times. She was the 4th cat I had lost and it never gets easier, I think it gets harder. After past losses I've waited over a year to adopt a new pet, but after Tara I only waited 6 weeks before adopting Truffles. In a way I felt it was too soon, but Tara was such a powerful force that I felt her loss more acutely than ever. I just know she would have wanted me to rescue another feisty tortie!
ReplyDelete